Happy Birthday
How to free yourself from the past
Two qualifiers before tuning in:
This memo was supposed to be the inaugural Substack–however, the morning after recording it, the inspiration hit on the pilates mat, which resulted in this actual / official Inaugural Substack.
This post was supposed to go live yesterday, on the actual April 19th, but here we are. <3
TLDR - Here is a methodology for completing the past and creating something new, created by the personal development program Landmark Worldwide and a go-to anytime I want to start something new, whether that’s a project, relationship, life chapter, or year:
1) What is there to acknowledge?
2) What is there to give up?
3) What is there to let go of?
4) What is there to forgive?
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And now, the cleaned-up-and-lightly-edited transcript of the above voice memo:
As somebody who prides herself on voice memo being her medium of choice, it was a little bit startling how awkward I felt recording the previous, first-ever Substack voice memo. So that, of course, begs the question, what do you really want to say, K?
And the question, or rather the concept that came to mind was the idea of taking your outfit for a walk (Taking Your Outfit For a Walk).
Does this ring a bell? Taking The Outfit For a Walk?
Like, do you have somewhere to go? Maybe.
So you feel like going out? Probably not.
But does your outfit need to go for a walk? It does. It really does.
This is a great activity, strongly recommend, as the youth say, 10/10.
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This moment feels like a good segue to the more sourceful reflection that I wanted to share as it relates to the idea of completion and creation, and the inflection point that a birthday offers to complete the past (year) and create the future (year).
There are a series of four questions, a methodology for “completion” created by Landmark Worldwide, that offer a portal to powerfully creating something new by first completing what has already happened, or any memories that might be lurking around in your conscious or subconscious mind:
1) What is there to acknowledge?
2) What is there to give up?
3) What is there to let go of?
4) What is there to forgive?
Going through these questions creates space for you to create whatever comes next.
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This is an exercise that I do every year with my dad on my birthday. As I mentioned up top, this concept of completion and the questions that I just outlined come from Landmark Worldwide, a personal development program that has been formative for me. I did their flagship course The Landmark Forum when I was nineteen, and I find that the tools and distinctions I’ve gained through Landmark remain a reliable tool that I cherish in my personal development tool kit, especially supportive in helping me not believe everything I think, and in building my capacity to create and live aligned ways of being, rather than defaulting to being reactive.
“Completion” is really that of creating space. Any area of your life where you have a charged emotion, a painful memory, or where you just feel blocked, it could be an opportunity to as yourself the question, “what is there to complete?”
Similarly, if you have something that you want to create–like the next chapter in your life, a new relationship or project–you can give that next iteration all the more power by first looking at what there is to complete: before you begin creating anew, what is there to let go of? What is there to give up? What is there to forgive, what is there to acknowledge?
There's no strict rhyme or reason for what goes in each of these buckets. It's really what feels most intuitive to you, and when doing this exercise, either in a journal or in conversation with somebody, you just keep emptying out the bucket of your old memories, thoughts, emotions until there's nothing left in the particular area or the situation you’re working through. There might be additional actions to take, like having a conversation with somebody; sometimes, simply writing down whatever you are seeing is enough.
As you continue to answer these questions, there will come a moment when you'll start to feel a sense of peace, a sense of space. Your head might feel a little bit lighter, in a way that feels really comforting and grounded…lighter and grounded at the same time, which I think is one of my favorite combinations (but that sounds like a riff for another time).
You empty out your head, your memory, your consciousness, and then…there's space, space to create something new. And what you create won't be papered over what was previously in the space. It will actually have room to sew deep, authentic roots in that soil. Then you water that new idea, that new project, and it will start to bloom.
Happy birthday, today and everyday.
